The Expectation – and Trap – of Stress in Tech Leadership

/ AHI Leadership LLC/
The Expectation – and Trap – of Stress in Tech Leadership

Many tech leaders have come to believe that exceptional stress is simply part of the job, a necessary burden that comes with the responsibility of leadership. But what if that assumption is wrong? What if the key to being a high-performing leader isn’t about tolerating more stress, but about changing how you respond to it?

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The Leadership Practice You're Overlooking: Love

/ AHI Leadership LLC/

You’re exhausted. The demands keep piling up, appreciation is scarce, and it feels like there’s never enough time. Leadership was supposed to be rewarding, but right now, it’s just draining.

What if the missing piece isn’t more effort or efficiency, but something deeper?

Love isn’t just a personal or sentimental concept, it’s a leadership practice. Bringing more care, respect, and connection into your leadership isn’t just about creating a better workplace for others. It’s about making your job more sustainable. When people feel valued and supported, they work better, require less micromanagement, and step up in ways that lighten your load.

So instead of just pushing through another day, consider small shifts that can improve your leadership experience and everyone’s well-being. Here’s how:

1. Active Listening

True listening is an act of care. In meetings or one-on-ones, be fully present: put away distractions, ask thoughtful questions, and reflect back what you hear. When people feel heard, they feel respected and understood—and that means fewer misunderstandings and repeated conversations.

2. Acknowledgment & Appreciation

A simple “thank you” or recognition of a job well done can go a long way. Take time to acknowledge contributions, whether through a public shoutout, a personal note, or a quick verbal appreciation. When people feel valued, they’re more likely to stay engaged and take ownership, making your job easier.

3. Mentorship & Advocacy

Support the growth of those around you by offering mentorship, coaching, or sponsorship. Advocate for team members in meetings, provide constructive feedback, and help them see opportunities they might not recognize on their own. The more capable your team is, the less you have to carry alone.

4. Empathy in Conflict

Disagreements are natural at work, but how you handle them makes all the difference. Before reacting, pause to consider the other person's perspective. Assume positive intent, ask clarifying questions, look for common ground, and focus on solutions rather than blame. A little empathy can prevent long-term friction that drains your energy.

5. Work-Life Respect

Honor people's time and boundaries, including your own. Encourage a healthy work-life balance by being mindful of after-hours communication, supporting flexible work arrangements, and respecting personal commitments. When you and your team have space to recharge, everyone performs better.

6. Forgiveness & Grace

Everyone, including you, makes mistakes. Creating an environment where people feel safe to learn and grow, rather than fear judgment or punishment, fosters innovation and psychological safety. Responding with grace, rather than criticism, reduces stress and keeps your team moving forward instead of stuck in fear.

7. Self-Love: The Last but Most Important Step

Love of self means accepting that you are imperfect, can get emotionally hijacked, can have bad days, can be cared for and supported by others. You’re human. Try all the practices above on yourself. Leaders who practice self-compassion are better equipped to extend the same grace and understanding to others. And if you’re burned out, showing yourself kindness isn’t a nice-to-have—it’s a necessity.

Love as a Leadership Practice

Bringing more love into professional spaces isn’t about being overly sentimental. It’s about making leadership more sustainable and fulfilling. When leaders prioritize care, respect, and trust, teams become more engaged, collaborative, and resilient. And they won’t have to carry everything alone.

So today, consider: How can you bring more love into your leadership? What’s one small action you can take to show yourself and your team more support? A little love, especially for yourself, goes a long way.

And if you’re ready to explore how the leadership practice of love can transform your leadership, let’s connect. Together, we can uncover new ways to bring clarity, resilience, and fulfillment into your daily life.

Al Ingram - AHI Leadership LLC

My approach to leadership coaching is focused on leadership attitude, mindset and energy. I coach Positive Intelligence® and Energy Leadership™ and practices contributing to being happier, especially for experienced and senior high tech leaders.

“Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” – Robert A. Heinlein

The Missing Competency in Your High Tech Leadership Toolkit

/ AHI Leadership LLC/


What if improving your mental fitness was the key to solving your most frustrating challenges with your team and projects?

Mental fitness isn’t just a soft skill—it’s a strategic advantage.

You may have all the technical skills and experience needed to tackle these challenges, but consider this: is your attitude holding you back from finding the best solutions?

Or maybe you don’t have all the resources with the specific skills you need. Is it possible that your mindset is preventing you from seeking out and effectively engaging those resources?

Let’s imagine you have the potential to overcome these challenges. But if you’re just going through the motions—uninspired, unmotivated, and delivering a performance you know is subpar—could it be that your mental state is limiting your ability to deliver the kind of performance you’re truly capable of?

Perhaps your technical expertise and career history are exceptional, and now you’re leading the team. Yet, things still aren’t clicking. Have you thought about how your mindset could be preventing you from developing and fully using your leadership abilities?

It’s easy to attribute obstacles to external circumstances or the actions of others. But the reality is that your own attitude, mindset, mood, and mental state—shaped by assumptions, beliefs, and responses to others—play a massive role in your performance, health, and relationships.

One small step you can take today is to begin shifting your mindset—unlocking new solutions as you go.

In a tech-driven world, your mind is your most valuable tool—keep it sharp. Investing in mental fitness practices can make you a better leader. Don’t let day-to-day demands crowd out the time you need for your own development. Begin with a free Saboteur Assessment and Discovery Session—a first step toward greater self-awareness and experiencing the impact a positive, resilient mindset can have on your leadership.

Al Ingram - AHI Leadership LLC

My approach to leadership coaching is focused on leadership attitude, mindset and energy. I coach Positive Intelligence® and Energy Leadership™ and practices contributing to being happier, especially for experienced and senior high tech leaders.