Been overwhelmed lately?

/ AHI Leadership LLC/

Does this sound familiar?

You reach a point in time where all your responsibilities exceed your capacity to own them. It isn’t about your competency or ability to handle the responsibilities individually. It is the cumulative effect of the quantity and quality of the responsibilities and your related overpowering thoughts and feelings that overwhelm you.

And then you find it difficult to decide what to do. Or you space out, so you aren’t even thinking about how to decide what to do. Or you divert to your favorite distraction – social media, ice cream, gaming, television) well into the night. Or thoughts about the things on your plate pop up at any time, especially in the middle of the night, usually worries about what could go wrong.

And worst of all, you’re frustrated and beat yourself up because you were under-performing, ruining your health, and you should know better. WTF!

 
 

Overwhelmed?

The definition of being overwhelmed is to be overcome by superior force or numbers, or to be completely overcome or overpowered in thought or feeling. [1]

It’s about quantity and intensity. And in this blog, it’s about the negative things which cause stress, not the positive things (although they can be overwhelming, too, but that’s another blog).

👉 With too many “things” or too much intensity, you’re overwhelmed.

Got Stress?

When you’re a high tech leader, there’s no lack of beyond-your-control things that can contribute to your stress. In case you need to be reminded, these days, that’s:

  • The relentless pressure and urgency of demanding project timelines, a high volume of tasks, and constant interruptions.

  • The uncertainty created by unclear project goals, shifting priorities, or vague directives.
    The rapid pace of technological advancements (heard about AI lately?) coupled with the pressure to innovate, requiring you to continuously adapt and stay updated.

  • The challenge and emotional drain of working with diverse teams and senior leaders with varying personalities, communication styles, and conflicts, especially if you don’t address them promptly.

  • Budget constraints, understaffed teams, or inadequate technological infrastructure, that hinder your ability to meet expectations.

  • Also, there are always the in-the-way-YOU-think-and-behave things that create stress, like (to name a few):

  • Perfectionism and fear of failure, leading to setting unrealistic expectations for yourself and your team.

  • Difficulty establishing boundaries and saying no to additional responsibilities or requests, leading to your overcommitment and being stretched too thin.

  • Imposter syndrome, doubting your abilities and feeling like you don't deserve your position, despite your achievements and qualifications.

  • Imbalance between your work responsibilities and personal life commitments, along with feelings of guilt, exhaustion, and a sense of never being able to fully disconnect from work.

  • Neglect of self-care, such as proper sleep, nutrition, exercise, and relaxation, aggravating your sense of overwhelm and diminishing their resilience, making it harder to cope.

Check out this article on CIO.com [2] for more on Tech Leader stresses.

👉 With too much stress or too much intensity, you’re overwhelmed.

Got Symptoms?

Again, in case you needed a review, here are some of the physical, mental, and behavioral symptoms you may experience when you’re stressed. Are there here any you didn’t already know?

  • Procrastinating or avoiding tasks due to the sheer volume of work or the perceived difficulty of the tasks.

  • Engaging in escapist behaviors and distractions such as excessive internet browsing, gaming, or substance use/abuse as a coping mechanism.

  • Experiencing a decline in productivity or performance despite putting in extra effort.

  • Finding it hard to focus or concentrate on tasks.

  • Experiencing memory lapses, forgetfulness, or difficulty retaining information due to cognitive overload.

  • Holding tension in your neck, shoulders, and back, leading to muscle stiffness and discomfort.

  • Feeling constantly anxious, worried, or on edge about work-related tasks, deadlines, or expectations.

  • Becoming easily and increasingly frustrated, critical, short-tempered, or impatient of yourself, your colleagues, team members, or family members.

  • Working longer hours and neglecting personal time and self-care in an attempt to keep up with demands.

  • Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep due to racing thoughts and worries about your responsibilities.

  • Feeling constantly tired, even after sufficient rest, due to mental and emotional strain.

  • Withdrawing from social interactions, hobbies, or activities outside of work due to a lack of energy or motivation.

  • Experiencing frequent headaches or migraines as a result of stress and tension.

  • Experiencing digestive problems such as stomachaches, indigestion due to stress and anxiety.

  • Feeling disconnected from yourself or your surroundings, as if operating on autopilot, as a result of chronic stress and emotional exhaustion.

This last item is particularly notable because when you’re stressed to the point of being overwhelmed, you’re probably not being very self-aware at that moment. You may not see you’re overwhelmed unless you get feedback and support from others, or at some later time have the opportunity to look back.

👉 With too many symptoms or too much intensity, you’re overwhelmed.

Got Practices?

When you’re stressed or overwhelmed, you’re experiencing one or more of those symptoms, not thinking clearly, and being driven by anxiety or frustration or fear. You’re not making good choices. So the first thing to do is to get yourself into a more thoughtful, calm, openminded mindset, to stop feeling stressed or overwhelmed, so you can better decide what to do to move forward.

Start with these practices:

1️⃣Notice – become conscious of – your negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Catch the signs and symptoms of stress and overload in the moment. This is the starting point, and it takes time and intention and practice to be able to do this.

 

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
— Carl Jung

 

2️⃣Practice presence in the moment [3]. When you become aware of the stress of overwhelm, get out of your head and into your body. Do PQ® Reps [4]. Mindfulness meditation. Breath work. Whichever works for you.

 

“Anxiety, the illness of our time, comes primarily from our inability to dwell in the present moment.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

 

3️⃣Practice acceptance of your reality. Some stressors you may be able to change (i.e. yourself); some you may be able to influence (i.e. as a leader); and some you won’t be able to change (i.e. what other people do and think, taxes, death). Wishing something to be other than it is, is a primary source of suffering and stress.

 

“Pain is what the world does to you, suffering is what you do to yourself by the way you think about the pain you receive.” – Buddhism

 

After you’re in a better mindset, consider what to do.  You’re calmer, more objective, open to options. Continue with these practices:

4️⃣Thoroughly and without judgment creatively explore what’s happening. What are the conditions contributing to your stress and overwhelm right now? What is the impact of those conditions on others? What’s the larger context?

 

“It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data.” – Sherlock Holmes / Arthur Conan Doyle

 

5️⃣Creatively identify and act without distraction on one or more options to move forward in a way that results in a benefit or other positive result. They may solve a problem or align with/achieve a goal or objective. They may create knowledge or experience for future use. They may relate to your work or your career or your personal life.

 

“Focus is the art of knowing what to ignore.” – James Clear

 

Outside of the specific overwhelm challenge, proactively limit the circumstances in which you’re stressed or overwhelmed, by adding these practices to the ones above:

6️⃣Practice self-awareness – being conscious – noticing your negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, all the time. Keep a journal to be able to detect trends. Schedule time daily or weekly to review your negativity retrospectively. Practice mindfulness meditation.

 

"The greatest enemy is the one that lies within." – Master Yoda, "Star Wars"

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." – Aristotle

 

7️⃣Adopt time management techniques, such as prioritization, delegation, having good vs. bad habits (see Atomic Habits [5]), and setting boundaries (see Set Boundaries, Find Peace [6]).

 

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
– Douglas Adams

 

8️⃣Adopt stress-reduction practices that work for you. Exercise regularly. Sleep better [7].  Eat better. Connect with family and friends. Have a hobby or avocation, a life outside of work. Limit screen time. Find peace.

 

“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” – Hermann Hesse

 

9️⃣Develop resilience through fostering a growth mindset [8], the Sage Perspective [9], and otherwise learning from setbacks. When you can’t change the source of your stress or overwhelm, you can change how you respond to it. Your way forward may be to turn it into an opportunity to learn, or to become more experienced in your career or profession, or to support your lifestyle or some other passion in your life.

 

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein

"Failure is not the opposite of success; it's part of success." – Arianna Huffington

 

🔟influence your organization’s culture, if that’s realistic. A culture that values work-life balance, encourages open communication, values a growth mindset, and provides resources for stress management and professional development (many of the practices mentioned above) will alleviate your stress and overwhelm. A culture that does not, will exacerbate your stress and overwhelm.

 

“Corporate culture matters. How management chooses to treat its people impacts everything for better or for worse. – Simon Sinek

 

1️⃣1️⃣Regularly evaluate and update your personal and professional and career purpose, values, and goals, and create and implement transitions to stay in alignment.

 

“The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs

 

1️⃣2️⃣Seek support from mentors, coaches, peers, and/or therapy.

 

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent." – John Donne

 

Got Enough?

As a high tech leader, you do/will get stressed and overwhelmed. It goes with the job and the tech industries. Develop and maintain pro-active and in-the-moment practices to detect and respond to your stresses and overwhelm, as a crucial step toward preventing your burnout and supporting your highest performance, job satisfaction, and continuing success as a leader.

👉 With the right number of the best practices, you’re a happier high tech leader.

What’s your experience with stress and overwhelm? Anything else I could add here?

 

“No one on his deathbed ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office.’” – Paul Tsongas or Harold Kushner

 

My approach to leadership coaching is less focused on managerial skills and more focused on leadership attitude, mindset and energy. I coach Positive Intelligence® and Energy Leadership™ and practices like awareness, presence in the moment, acceptance, and reframing, especially for high tech leaders.

If you are feeling inspired to build, reestablish, or further develop these and other leadership practices, check out my Energy and Mindset Reboot Program, and find out what it can do for you in a free 30-minute Saboteur Discovery Session.

 

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

 

References:

[1] “overwhelm,” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/overwhelm . Accessed 5/6/2024.
[2] “10 things keeping IT leaders up at night” (November 2023): https://www.cio.com/article/1247637/10-things-keeping-it-leaders-up-at-night.html
[3] “Getting present in the moment” https://www.ahileadership.com/blog/2022/10/7/getting-present-in-the-moment
[4] Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours, by Shirzad Chamine, Geenleaf Book Group Press, Austin, TX, ©2012 https://a.co/d/3NCZUXZ
[5] Atomic Habits, An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, by James Clear, Penguin Random House LLC., Copyright ©2018 https://a.co/d/bsOHXpN
[6] Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself, by Nedra Glover Tawwab, TarcherPerigee Books ©2021 https://a.co/d/4qsCKaN
[7] “It’s 3am, why am I not asleep?” https://www.ahileadership.com/blog/2024/4/9/its-3am-why-am-i-not-asleep
[8] Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol S. Dweck,Random House LLC, New York ©2006, 2016
[9] Shirzad Chamine, Positive Intelligence